The wait to date
May 18, 2016
Ever since middle school, people are constantly surprised about this fact: I have never been on a date. At first, it was my parent’s rule, where I wasn’t allowed to date until I came the age of sixteen. Now, I have made the executive decision to wait until college.
I made this choice because I felt like I needed to get to know myself more, and become more comfortable with who I am. I believe that people would also benefit from this decision, if they only waited to date.
Before, I was so excited to have a significant other. What would happen is I would meet guys and couldn’t help but think, “Is this the guy that I’m going to date?” I ended up ruining the relationship by being desperate for someone else to fill in my life.
But now, I can appreciate guys for who they are. They are so funny and amazing, and are willing to be straight with me when asked for advice. Because I have not dated, I can see the value on having guys as friends and not as something more.
Waiting has shown me that I am able to focus on more pressing things in my life, such as my amazing job or family. Even with friends, I can have a better time. For example, I didn’t have to worry about a date to the prom; I was able to enjoy the girls I was partying with.
Also, I can find out more about myself. I’ve been able to mature considerably, while still living the teenage dream. I’m making goals for the future, and I don’t have to worry about if I have to break up with my boyfriend.
Most people think that it’s because I’m a Christian that I abstain from dating, and it’s true. But one doesn’t have to have a certain religion to not date. Dan Scotti, author of “How Long You Wait, Statistically, Determines How Long You Date,” states, “Those who waited until marriage rated a relationship stability was 22% higher, as were [their] satisfaction to be 20% higher.”
I think high school is a great place to figure out one’s self and make choices that they either learn from or regret. Dating is one of mine. Yes, I am missing out on great experiences, such as someone to talk and snuggle with when I’m just having a bad day. But I’m also giving myself the chance to see me for me, not who I could be with someone else.
One day, I will find someone who I am willing to call more than a friend. But for now, I can focus on the people that are more important in my life, and be comfortable with who I truly am.