Hands grasping the steering wheel, I turn onto Pacific Street. Quiet music sweeps over me, pulling at my torn heartstrings.

“Crush culture makes me wanna spill my guts out, I know what you’re doin’, trying to get me to pursue you,” cries out singer Conan Gray in his song “Crush Culture”.

According to Song Tell, this song comments on our society’s unhealthy obsession with romantic love and the emotionally exhausting pressure to constantly pursue it.

The song also uncovers the negative consequences of engaging in crush culture: loneliness, lies, and manipulation.

“Oh, no, don’t look in their eyes, ‘cause that’s how they get you, kiss you then forget you, all they feedin’ you is beautiful lies,” the song continues.

I turn off the music and walk into the school building.

Heading to my history class, I can’t help but notice all of the couples, holding hands, hugging.

There is one undeniable fact about high school; there is a huge pressure to be in a relationship. But why?

This pressure stems from societal expectations, wanting self-affirmation, or a need to belong.

We think we have to be with someone to be happy. But is that really true? Do we genuinely like this person or the idea of being with them? Or the aspect of being seen with someone?

The desire to fit in sometimes leads people to enter relationships without knowing much about the person. What are their interests? Values? Life goals?

Are they packing a racquet and tennis balls into a bag, slinging it over their shoulder, and sprinting onto the courts, excited to get out and start hitting? Or are they turning on an XBOX and playing aimlessly for hours?

Do they take the time to talk things out, tell the truth, and show up at their partners’ important events? Or are they always “busy” with something else, or “too tired”?

And then you come to the dreaded stage: the relationship comes to an end. You date this person, experience things together. Then, you break up. But you don’t. It’s all still there. They’re still everywhere you turn. You can’t go to the places you used to go with them, you can’t do the things you used to do with them. The person continues to take over your life.

Crush culture has occupied such a vast portion of our minds. When we should be thinking about finding a job, staying on top of schoolwork, what we plan to do after high school, we are instead thinking about who got together with whom, our own exes, our friends’ exes, or are looking for someone to date.

But are high school relationships inherently bad? According to The Sand Piper, dating can be a way to learn cooperation, socially appropriate behavior, manners, and interdependence. You also learn to compromise, empathize, and develop a meaningful and intimate connection.

In a healthy relationship, your partner can become an invaluable support system, helping you through the ups and downs of hard classes and college applications, and can be your shoulder to cry on, your safe space, and most of all, your best friend.

In our big school, you can hear a wide variety of opinions on the pros and cons of high school dating. On one hand, you may hear that growing up in today’s difficult world alongside someone else is easier than taking it all on by yourself. On the other hand, we make big decisions during these years that can rapidly change people’s lives and connections.

Besides, no one is completely independent in high school and you have to work around authority and parental permission. We are growing up but still aren’t grown up enough.

But everybody agrees: relationships change you. They can cause you to drift away from your friends. At the same time, they can help you realize what is right or wrong for you as you enter adulthood.

In my opinion, the negatives of high school dating significantly outweigh the positives. Succumbing to the pressure decreases your mental stability, drains you emotionally, and often decreases self-confidence. I believe it’s important to be yourself and think about what you want, instead of trying to fit into a mold others created.