I gaze at my reflection in the mirror. Stretch marks litter my stomach. I feel eyes drilling holes into my skin. A faint whisper in my ear echoes, “Fat.” I feel as if a black hole sucked me in, and I can’t get out. I replay that word over and over in my head.

Throughout my childhood, I was body-shamed by classmates and relatives on my mom’s side. For years, I struggled with my insecurity, constantly staring at myself in the mirror, stressing about my weight, and wishing I had the “perfect” body.

By 17 nearly 80% of females hate their bodies as stated by Cultursmag.

Body shaming happens worldwide and is normalized in society and in many cultures. Body shaming stems from societal expectations and cultural norms reinforced by media, advertising, beauty standards, entertainment industries, etc.

Many people don’t realize their derogatory comments are harmful, due to people internalizing cultural beauty standards. Hence, they view their harsh comments as constructive criticism, concern for their health, or “helpful” advice.  It could look like this: “You would look so much better if you went to the gym,” or “You look as thin as a stick, you should eat more.”

My family and I frequently visit Iran to see relatives. What was supposed to be a relaxing trip quickly turned into a nightmare.

My mom’s mother, cousins, aunts, brother, etc. commented on my mom’s weight gain. They offered unsolicited advice, suggesting she eat less, go to the gym more, and follow specific diets.

Hearing these comments made me uncomfortable, but my mom didn’t seem to mind them. I overheard my mom’s relatives discussing my weight with her. They probably thought I did not understand Farsi, but I did.

Even when I’m not in Iran, during video chats with my grandma, the comments and questions about my weight never end. Sometimes she asks if I lost weight, other times, she asks if I gained weight.

Some days, I ignore them, forcing a smile. On other days, I give the phone to my mom and retreat to the solitude of my room, letting the floodgates open as tears course down my cheeks when the weight of it all becomes too heavy to bear.

Whenever I ask my mom why my grandma and her relatives are obsessed with mentioning our weight, she always says that Iranians are like that in nature and do that because they love us and what is best for us.

According to child psychologist Lisha Chheda, kids between the ages of 10 and 11 develop an idea of what their bodies should look like.

Cultures often have strict ideals about what is considered attractive and acceptable. In some cultures, thinness is highly prioritized leading to body shaming of heavier people. In other cultures, heavier bodies are seen as a sign of wealth, and slimmer people may be stigmatized. This creates cultural pressure to conform to these ideals, leading to body dissatisfaction and low self-esteem for those who do not meet these established standards as stated by Bradley University.

According to Bradley University, more cultures prefer thinness over larger bodies due to globalization, colonization, and the spread of Western media.

Social media, Movies, TV shows, and entertainment industries in many countries reinforce negative stereotypes about certain body types frequently. People with larger bodies are often depicted as lazy, unhealthy, unattractive, or as comic relief. Meanwhile, those who possess the ideal body are glorified even if underweight, are glorified and portrayed as beautiful and healthy.

Health can exist in various body sizes. When the media fails to present a diversity of body types, it reinforces the idea that only one kind of body is associated with health and beauty and that this particular body type is the only one worth celebrating.

Women are more likely to be securitized over their appearance compared to men. Cultural expectations of masculinity and femininity can make people feel inadequate if they don’t follow those ideals. Women are expected to maintain a certain body type while men are ridiculed for being too slim or lacking muscle mass.

When raising awareness about body shaming, males are often overlooked.

According to a study by Bradley University,  men usually are quieter in their body insecurities compared to women due to shame and embarrassment if they don’t have that ideal perfect body.