Food is something that is needed to live. It’s necessary for human survival, providing the body with the energy and nutrients it requires to thrive. But food can be so much more than that.
It can be a source of joy, with the right meal completely altering someone’s mood. It can be a sign of love, when a mom makes her child their favorite dish to cheer them up. For some, food is everything. But in the same way, food can be a vicious opponent, completely changing people’s lives.
Every person has a different relationship with food, which is severely influenced by society’s expectations, social media, and both internal and external pressures.
For some, the relationship with food can become unhealthy, leading to harmful consequences to both their physical and mental health. A 2020 study conducted by researchers at the University of California San Francisco found that nearly one in two teenagers exhibits eating disorder-related behaviors at some point in their adolescence.
In student Sam Reed’s* case, an unhealthy relationship with food meant developing detrimental eating habits in the hopes of extreme weight loss.
“I was pretty heavy in fifth grade, and then around sixth and seventh grade, I lost about 60 pounds in two months,” Reed said.
When students’ relationships with food shift in such a drastic way, it can lead to them seeking out ways to meet their perception of health, even when it becomes injurious to their health.
“I started exercising a lot, and I stopped eating a lot. I would also skip breakfast and lunch most of the time. And if I got hungry, I would eat gum to make [the hunger] go away,” Reed said.
One of the major factors in the creation of a negative relationship with food can be students’ peers, specifically through social media posts.
“[Social media can] definitely be an issue. People will post, especially during the summer with the beach posts, and I’ll say, ‘Oh, they look so skinny in that picture. Why don’t I look like that?’ [I think to myself,] ‘What’s the issue with me? How can I fix it?’” Reed said.
But social media is not the only way peers can influence us. Everyday conversations, even small comments from friends, can have a large impact on students’ relationships with eating.
“When you get a whole meal and there are people saying ‘Oh, I’m so fat’ with just fries, it hurts a little. It’s not to the extent where I won’t eat, but when people say things like that, they don’t even realize how it can make other people feel,” Reed said.
However, the community surrounding students can also have a positive effect on their relationships with food, encouraging them to develop deep cultural connections with food.
“My culture has influenced my relationship with food by making me more open minded to other foods. Being exposed to Indian culture along with American culture and their foods has expanded my perspectives and strengthened my relationship with food,” Divya Singh* said.
Not only has her culture influenced her perception of other foods, but it has also enabled her to become more in touch with her culture and identity.
“I’ve started cooking Indian food with my mom. She’s been teaching me all of her recipes, and it’s allowed us to become a lot closer. I also feel like I’m more aligned with my identity now because exploring my culture’s food has allowed me to better understand myself and my heritage,” Singh said.
But she also believes that cultural standards can create negative relationships with food for children, especially in her community.
“I was really lucky to have parents who aren’t very traditional, but a lot of my friends weren’t as fortunate. There’s a toxic culture in the Indian community towards eating and children, especially with the double standard towards women,” Singh said. “Boys are told to eat more than they want to, but if girls try to eat, they’re told they’re looking bigger than before.”
Even across cultures, harmful standards for teens and their relationships for food influence their lives daily. But it doesn’t have to be like this.
“I definitely think [change] has to start mainstream and trickle its way down. We need to have opportunities to showcase all body types. I think representation is the most important thing, because once diversity is established in body sizes, we can normalize looking however we want to,” Reed said.
Food should be something that can be celebrated by all ages, all cultures, and all people. It can be something that brings people together, rather than tearing them apart.
“Food has become such a powerful force in my life. It’s helped connect with my family, my heritage, and myself. I know that’s not the case for everyone, but it should be. We need to stop using [food] to diminish others and instead use it to build them up,” Singh said.
* Names changed for privacy